What a curious life we have found here tonight

I can't remember crying over how I looked any time other than when my mom would cut my hair when I was a kid.

But I found myself, face down in my pillow sobbing a little while ago. Maybe it was hormonal. Maybe it was the emotionally charged night we've all had. Maybe I'm crazy. Most likely it's a little of all three and then some.

There are people out there working much harder than I am (*ahem* petit fours) to get healthy and have a much bigger hill to climb than I do, but that doesn't make it any easier for me to look in the mirror when I don't like what I see.

It's tough, too, because I've been on the winning side of this battle before. I think not being happy with your appearance is even more difficult when you can remember a time when you were pleased with it. You know what you're missing.

I could sit here and try to be high and mighty, saying that this doesn't have anything to do with how other people see me, but I'd be lying. 90% of the time it is simply because I'm not happy with myself, but it hurts when you have to stand up and face the fact that where people once found you desirable, you now don't get a second look. It just sucks.

So, let's recap - we all witnessed a really important part of history tonight, Barack Obama gave an AMAZING speech and Olivia feels fat and sad.

I can always turn it into a Me event, can't I? Pity parties are lame.