So Bockie sent me a link to the following post on Craigslist:
Need Writer, Producer & Director for my musicReply to: job-707929883@craigslist.org Date: 2008-06-04, 7:02PM CDT I am a very talented composer & musician with many a great film score in my head; I just need you to make a film to go with it. I'm sure my music will do well on the festival circuit (Sundance, etc.) once you provide the finished film. You must be very talented and hardworking; only a quality script will do. You have to write, produce, and direct a film worthy of my music, so this means great script, and excellent production values. Send finished film to me for consideration. I can't pay you, but maybe we can work out some compensation for you after I recover my costs when we sell the movie for distribution.
PostingID: 707929883 |
My initial reaction was "what a douche!" But the humor of it quickly hit me, and I insisted that he e-mail the poster. As Bockenstein learned long ago, it is much easier to acquiesce to my demands, so he composed and sent what follows:
Dear Sir, I am a screenwriter, director, and producer based here in Nashville, TN. I saw your post and was immediately inspired to make another film so that I could have the opportunity to utilize this amazing music of yours - even if no one up to this point has ever thought it amazing enough to use in a film besides you. I certainly hope you are in no hurry. Films take a little time to produce - sometimes even weeks. I've already contacted investors, as I'm sure it will take a budget of at least $1 million to create the kind of production values you would feel are up to par with your symphonic miracles. But if this music is as good as you say it is (which is all i'll have to go on before i start this process), then i'm confident it will be worth every borrowed penny. The other hurdle is a script. You're absolutely right - not just any bunch-of-words-on-paper screenplay would be suitable for these blessed arrangements. Craigslist is no place for amateurs, and only the best will do here. I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy (long story) who is friends with Joel Cohen's gardner. Through several degrees of separation I'm hoping to coerce he, his brother Ethan, or perhaps someone a like Charlie Kaufman, Paul Schrader (he wrote Raging Bull and Taxi Driver, which means he has potential, but I'm thinking with a little encouragement and instruction, we could get something we can use out of him), or maybe Woody Allen if no one else will do it. These guys will no doubt want money to pen this masterpiece of ours, but fortunately, i have faith in your music. I am including a copy of your CL ad which i'm certain would convince them to forego their usual hefty fees in favor of such a monumental career move. So that's it. The wheels are in motion my friend. All that is left to do at this point is thank you for posting this godsend of an online classified in my city. Otherwise I might have never known such sublime sonic supremacy even existed. Like I said, given i have to complete this gem before you will approve it, you'll have to be patient with me. My investors just called and they think it's a bit of a gamble to perform this kind of feat on the word of an anonymous CL poster/ no-name composer who apparently has no film credits to speak of, but they lack one important element that's crucial to this business - FAITH. They have no faith and that is why they will lose and we will win. I will get you your film, sir, and I will leave a place in my heart vacant that will remain so until it is filled with this majestic resonance orchestrated by the hand of God himself and downloaded directly through your divine vessels/fingers and into my cinematic piece de resistance. Best Wishes, Seth Lewis Graves Art Official Pop Productions P.S. I would also suggest you attempt to contact Ethan and Joel personally as they apparently can't seem to find a better composer than this joke of a man Carter Burwell - who consequently doesn't know his crescendo from staccato. |
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